I am not a religious person. You know this, and if you're just joining us.. well you know it now. I don't believe in god, but I do believe in feeling something so much, that you are moved by something stronger then yourself. I believe that you can be transcended by the force of your emotions and feelings into something great and huge, that changes countries, moves mountains, and reshapes the world.
Right now I am feeling it. I've been struggling with it for a few weeks as some people have noticed. I'm scattered and confused, I start working on sketches that need to be posted, and they turn into something else entirely. I have work I NEED to get done, and yet it doesn't come out. I figured out why.
I'm hurting, but this is nothing new and normally I can stand the pain. Sometimes though, sometimes a feeling is so strong, you have to give it voice or it consumes you, obsesses you. This is why I'm an artist, this is why I draw. Because I feel so strongly that if I don't give it a voice, I will burn.
I'm burning up, I have to voice it and I have to say it and express it, even if it means that others hate what I have to say, and not because of any gathering of like minds. I have to voice it because if I don't it will consume me and I cannot bear the feeling of burning alive in my own pain.
So I have put pen to paper, pencil across the board. I am drawing and it hurts so bad to feel the burning rage and anger slide out of me and into the image beneath my hands, but I keep going because it is the only thing that can stop the pain.